Journey to Sharing Your Story
Let’s talk about the value of sharing your story.
Bible Verse of the Blog: Joel 1: 2–3
2 Hear this, you elders; give ear, all inhabitants of the land!
Has such a thing happened in your days, or in the days of your fathers?
3 Tell your children of it and let your children tell their children, and their children to another generation.
Song: Tobe Nwigwe — Journey
Today is the 3rd day of 2021 and the 400th day of the coronavirus pandemic. In my short life, I lived through way too many world disasters. Just when I thought we were good, the pandemic began and has claimed 1.8 million people, millions more experiencing long-term symptoms. Even with the creation of vaccines, we still do not fully understand this disease or how long it will persist. If ever there were a time to remember and tell future generations about, it would be now.
My mom was the first person I told about my herpes. We are incredibly close. Her gracious, comforting response was exactly what I needed. Although I could sense her unfamiliarity with HSV2 (and overall discomfort with her child being sexually active), I could not bear this disease alone. As I navigated my internal turmoil, I recognized just how little I knew about safe sex. Of what I knew, I cared more about preventing pregnancy as opposed to preventing disease. In one of our many late-night talks, I expressed to my mom that I wanted to share my diagnosis with my little sister (who was 16 at the time). Despite their unease, my parents obliged and I told my sister what I was going through an how I got it.
Fast forward almost four years, and here I am still sharing one of the worst (and best) things to happen to me in my short life. I also happen to work in public health; I will be discussing the COVID-19 pandemic for the rest of my career.
Where am I going with this?
Well, I am here to encourage you to understand just how powerful your story is. Beyond you, the sobering lessons of life challenges are like the pot liquor/ likker in a pot of collard greens. They hold all the vitamins and nutrients that have healing and redemptive powers.
In the Bible verse of the Blog, Joel is writing to the people of Jerusalem as they endure one of the worst locusts invasions in memorable history. He begins his correspondence by urging everyone to remember this event and share it with generations to come. Many would assume that telling the sad story of loss and struggle would demoralize future generations. To me, Joel’s plea is actually a blessing for future generations.
One could call truth, the true generational wealth.
My grandfather always told me if you don’t know your past, you cannot know your future. Any student of history will tell you that it is bound to repeat itself. It’s just a matter of us sharing history and learning from it.
As a Black woman in America, so much of my history was not written in a book, so I relied on the stories my elders told me. I know my ancestors have struggles mightly suffering at the injustices in a country built by them but not for them. Yet, it is the triumphs after such a struggle that gives me hope. Their stories also taught me to navigate the possibilities of history repeating itself.
Back to my herpes journey. When I sat in my sister’s room and shared my sobering truth, I never anticipated what it would mean for her. I just hoped she wouldn’t repeat my mistake. Now my baby sister is grown, but in the 4 years since my revelation, I have seen just how impactful my honesty was. As close as we were, my story broke a barrier allowing us to go deeper and be real about some of the ugliest things in our respective lives. She did her best to heed my words and those of my parents. She sees me as a resource and knows that if she were ever to encounter something she feels is too big she can come to me (and anyone else in my family). She knows how to prevent disease and knows that there is life on the other side of challenges. As a resource to her I know it carries a responsibility. I do my best to show up for her especially in the spaces I know up for her. I am motivated to work through my challenges so I can be ready to help her through hers.
Beyond me, over the last few years, my family has embraced a new level of honesty and transparency. My story was one of the first. But I can’t give myself any of the credit, I just noticed a cultural shift in my family. We started to become more real (not perfect). More honest about our challenges, and thus we have been able to show up for one another in ways I can only attribute to agape love (and each of us pursing a healthier version of ourselves).
I wish I could say this was true about my career. Of course, I had studied pandemics and disease prevention before. But COVID-19 has exposed how severely unaware we all are on how in disease prevention. It takes more than one doctor, health department, or health official to address a pandemic. It has to be widespread, from the federal to community level. These were lessons we learned from the Spanish Flu, measles, polio, ebola, and swine flu. How then have we failed?
Because we didn’t pass the message to the next generations, and the next generation didn’t listen. (Joel was on to something)
So, what is the takeaway?
Tell the story. Your joy, your failure, what you didn’t understand, what you know.
Did you think everything you have was only for you??
I know this is a big ask. Before you tell your story, go to therapy, work through your stuff. Then, like the pot liquor, drink up the nutrients of those lessons (some might call that wisdom). When you can, share your story. The next generations will benefit and not repeat our mistakes. I share my little bit of wisdom with you because I love you. I hope you know just how incredible you are.
Wear a mask and socially distance because it keeps you safe and those you love (and those you don’t yet love) safe. These are trying times. A little more love, honesty, and kindness go a long way.
You know what you gotta do, right?
Be Great!!!
-J.
